New Relationship Questions

The first months of a relationship are exciting and a little uncertain. These new relationship questions help you learn about each other at a comfortable pace: favorite things and daily habits first, then what you each value, how you like to spend time together and what you are looking for.

They are written to feel natural, not like an interview. Bring one or two to a date, send a few over text, or open the game and take turns. If you want a playful quiz, try This or That or How Well Do You Know Me on two phones. Stay at level 1 and 2 early on and move deeper when it feels right.

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  1. 1

    Who is most likely to say "I love you" first?

  2. 2

    Who is most likely to introduce the other to their friends first?

  3. 3

    Who is most likely to plan the second date?

  4. 4

    Who is most likely to be the first to open up about something personal?

  5. 5

    Who is most likely to post the first couple photo?

  6. 6

    Who is most likely to leave something at the other's place?

  7. 7

    If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

  8. 8

    Would you like to be famous? In what way?

  9. 9

    Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you'll say? Why?

  10. 10

    What would a "perfect" day look like for you?

  11. 11

    When did you last sing to yourself? And to someone else?

  12. 12

    If you could live to 90 and keep either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years, which would you choose?

  13. 13

    Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

  14. 14

    Name three things you and I seem to have in common.

  15. 15

    What in your life do you feel most grateful for?

  16. 16

    If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

  17. 17

    Take four minutes and tell me your life story in as much detail as you can.

  18. 18

    If you could wake up tomorrow with one new ability or quality, what would it be?

  19. 19

    If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life or the future, what would you want to know?

  20. 20

    Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

  21. 21

    What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  22. 22

    What do you value most in a friendship?

  23. 23

    What is your most treasured memory?

  24. 24

    What is your most painful memory?

  25. 25

    If you knew you would die suddenly in one year, would you change anything about how you live now? Why?

  26. 26

    What does friendship mean to you?

  27. 27

    What roles do love and affection play in your life?

  28. 28

    Take turns sharing something you consider a positive trait of mine. Share five each.

  29. 29

    How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most people's?

  30. 30

    How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

  31. 31

    Make three true "we" statements each, like "We are both in this room feeling…"

  32. 32

    Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share…"

  33. 33

    If we were going to become close friends, what would be important for me to know?

  34. 34

    Tell me what you like about me — be very honest, and say things you might not say to someone you just met.

  35. 35

    Share an embarrassing moment from your life.

  36. 36

    When did you last cry in front of someone? By yourself?

  37. 37

    Tell me something you already like about me.

  38. 38

    What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

  39. 39

    If tonight were your last chance, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

  40. 40

    Your home catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely grab one item. What would it be and why?

What should you ask in a new relationship?

Ask about daily life, passions, friends, family and what makes them happy. A little later, ask about expectations and communication styles.

How fast should we move to deeper questions?

Follow your comfort. Most couples stick to light and medium questions in the first weeks, then go deeper as trust grows.

Are these questions good for texting?

Yes. Many of them are short and easy to answer by message, and you can start a room to play together from different places.

What questions are too much for a new relationship?

Heavy topics like past relationships in detail or long-term plans can wait. Keep it curious and friendly.