Questions for Engaged Couples
Being engaged is exciting and busy at the same time. Between venues and guest lists, it is easy to forget to talk about the marriage itself. These questions for engaged couples help you do both: some are about the wedding you want, and many are about the life you are building - money, home, family, careers and traditions you want to start.
Pick a calm evening and take turns with a card. There is no score, only conversation. Mark the questions you want to return to and skip anything you have already settled. Play on one phone or start a room so each of you answers on your own. It is a nice break from wedding planning spreadsheets.
Start playing- 1
What does a successful marriage look like to you?
- 2
How do you want us to handle money once we're married?
- 3
How did your parents handle conflict, and what would you do differently?
- 4
What role do you want faith or spirituality to play in our home?
- 5
Where would you like us to live in five years?
- 6
How do you feel about having children, and when?
- 7
How should we divide household chores?
- 8
How involved do you want our families to be in our life?
- 9
What would you do if we fell out of sync for a while?
- 10
How do you want to celebrate holidays as a married couple?
- 11
What's a deal-breaker for you in a marriage?
- 12
How do you feel about combining bank accounts?
- 13
What are your expectations around careers and relocating?
- 14
How much time apart do you think is healthy for a married couple?
- 15
What do you think we'll argue about most, and how should we handle it?
- 16
What part of planning the wedding are you most excited about?
- 17
What's one wedding tradition you'd love to keep?
- 18
What's one wedding tradition you'd happily skip?
- 19
What do you want our first year of marriage to feel like?
- 20
What's the vow you most want to keep?
- 21
Where would your dream honeymoon be?
- 22
How did the proposal feel for you?
- 23
What's something you want to remember from this engaged season?
- 24
What song do you want for our first dance?
- 25
What's one fear about marriage you'd like to talk about?
- 26
What's one thing you want to learn from couples you admire?
- 27
How can we keep wedding stress from affecting us?
- 28
Who do you think will cry first at the wedding?
- 29
What's one promise you want to make to me that's not in the vows?
- 30
What do you want our marriage to stand for?
What should engaged couples talk about?
Beyond the wedding, talk about finances, children, where you will live, how you share chores, how you handle conflict and how much time you spend with each family.
Is this the same as premarital counseling?
No. These questions help you start important conversations on your own. A premarital course or counselor can go deeper if you want professional guidance.
Are there fun questions too?
Yes. Mixed in are lighter questions about the honeymoon, your wedding song and the vows you might write, so the session never feels too heavy.
How long should we spend on these questions?
Spread them over several evenings. Half an hour at a time is plenty.