Relationship Check-In Questions

A regular relationship check-in is like routine maintenance: short, calm and much easier than waiting for a problem to grow. These check-in questions help you talk about how you are both feeling, what went well lately, what felt off, and what you each need in the coming weeks.

Set aside twenty minutes once a week or once a month, somewhere comfortable. Take turns with each question and let the other person finish before you respond. Start with appreciation, then move to the harder cards. The game works on one phone or two, and you can save favorites to reuse every time. These questions support everyday conversation; they are not counseling.

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  1. 1

    When did you last feel really close to me?

  2. 2

    What's something we used to do that you miss?

  3. 3

    Is there anything you've been holding back from telling me lately?

  4. 4

    What's been taking up most of your energy recently?

  5. 5

    What's one thing I could do that would make you feel more appreciated?

  6. 6

    What's something you need more of from me right now?

  7. 7

    What's a recent moment when you felt proud of me?

  8. 8

    What's one thing you'd love us to plan together?

  9. 9

    When do you feel lonely, even when we're together?

  10. 10

    What's a small ritual we could start to stay connected every day?

  11. 11

    What's been on your heart that you haven't shared?

  12. 12

    What does a good week together look like for you?

  13. 13

    What's something new you've discovered about yourself lately?

  14. 14

    What's the best part of your day, most days?

  15. 15

    How can I support you better during stressful times?

  16. 16

    How are you feeling about us this week, on a scale of 1 to 10?

  17. 17

    What's one thing I did this week that you appreciated?

  18. 18

    Is there anything that's been bothering you that we haven't talked about?

  19. 19

    What's one thing we could do better next week?

  20. 20

    How's your stress level right now, and how can I help?

  21. 21

    Did you feel heard by me this week?

  22. 22

    Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?

  23. 23

    What's a moment this week when you felt close to me?

  24. 24

    What are you looking forward to in the coming week?

  25. 25

    Are we spending enough quality time together?

  26. 26

    Is there a conversation we've been avoiding?

  27. 27

    How balanced do our responsibilities feel right now?

  28. 28

    What's something we should celebrate?

  29. 29

    What's one goal for us for next month?

  30. 30

    How are you doing — really?

What is a relationship check-in?

A planned, short conversation where you ask how things are going between you: what feels good, what feels hard, and what you want to change. Doing it regularly keeps small issues small.

How often should couples do a check-in?

Many couples like once a week; others prefer once a month. Choose a rhythm you can keep, and keep it short so it never feels like a chore.

What if a check-in turns into an argument?

Pause, name it calmly and agree to come back later. Start each check-in with appreciation questions. If conflicts keep repeating, a licensed couples therapist can help - please seek professional support when you need it.

Can we reuse the same questions every time?

Yes. Save your favorites with the heart icon. Repeating a few core questions makes it easy to notice changes over time.